It is true that most women think about marriage much sooner than the men they are dating.  But a woman should not have to wait forever for her man to commit. Hello, I have things to do besides waiting!  Here are signs that he’s so not ready — and if your man shows any of these while you are ready to move forward, leave the relationship and find someone who wants to be with you and make you happy.  Men have their own clocks, so when they are ready, they will pop the question– but not any second sooner.  You can’t manipulate, pressure, or trick him to proposing.  It’s up to you to wait or move on.

The word “marriage” scares him. If saying “marriage,” “engagement,” or “baby” makes him change the subject or joke about it like it’s an awful thing to occur, he’s not ready for commitment.  He probably wants to test out the waters and likes things the way they are now.  Marriage is far from his mind and it’s something he doesn’t even want to go near it.  And while he values your relationship, he may not need a piece of paper to prove that.

He makes fun of friends who are getting married. If someone always makes a negative comment about another couple making that commitment, that shows how little he may want it for himself at this moment.  While he may value marriage, it’s foreign to him.

He does not make you 100% happy. If he really wants to be with you, he will put your happiness as a priority, within reason.  You can’t be selfish and demand handbags and jewelry as gifts and be sad he doesn’t give them.  But if basic things that he does for you does not make you happy, and he knows that he can be better and does not make changes, then he truly is not ready to commit in a relationship that is all about “we” and not “me.”

You have to ask him if he’s ready. Clearly, if he is ready, you will know about it.  Asking someone if they are ready for marriage means it has been on your mind while you feel he has not been thinking about it.  Trust me, if he wants to marry you, he will marry you.  You can’t pressure someone to commit their life for you — it will lead to a lot of unhappiness.

He likes to go out a lot with his friends. Generally people who go out a lot aren’t ready to settle down in a relationship because there is so much they still want to do.  With all the new social environments, men may not want to see the same person every day — now.  Once they are tired of hitting on girls who aren’t interested, they may want to be with someone at home and just chilling.

He is financially unstable. Culture has deemed men to be the breadwinners of the household.  When a man is still struggling to pay his bills and rent, he may not be able to see himself affording an engagement ring, a wedding, and a home.  Most men want to make sure their finances and careers are in place before they can marry a woman and treat her right.

He’s still incredibly immature. He’s still acting like the “boy” in boyfriend.  He is all about having fun, playing jokes, and having a serious conversation is hard to come by.  And you always seem to initiate them.  If a man is all about joking around and having fun, he needs a best friend, not a girlfriend. A relationship is all about growth.  When a man is ready to become a husband, he starts acting like one.  He will start making future plans, invite you to family gatherings, and love to hear about your day and share more than just a quick hello and good night on the phone. When the time is right, it is right for the both of you. This comes before the proposal.  You just know he is the one.  If he’s not ready, he’s not ready.  He’s not an asshole or a jerk, just someone who doesn’t feel the same way you do.  While you can wait a while, set yourself a deadline for how long you will wait.  Whether it’s a month or a year, decide what it is you want to do.  This is for you, not him.  If you don’t mind dating for 4 years without a commitment, that’s fine.  But if you see it as something you truly want, then find someone who also wants the same thing, and won’t drag you along until you realize he isn’t the one who will propose to you.  Instead of trying to change his mind that you are the one, just move on.  Being with someone who does not want the same thing will only make you resent the relationship and be unhappy. Of course, every relationship will vary and you should make decisions that best suit your situation and your needs.  Tell us about your experience and thoughts…