Recently my wireless internet went down at my studio, and I was frantic to get online. I visited libraries, coffee shops, malls, you name it, I was there accessing internet. But after a week, I realized I needed to step away from my laptop and try something new. My routine was always basic: get home from work, and go online. I would check email, chat with friends, read some articles and just be connected. Without that constant stream of information, I was at a standstill.

Then I realized how I could actually use my time more efficiently. Those books that I have always wanted to read can actually be read. I can write articles without constantly having to check my email or chat. I did more yoga. And, I went outside more.

Today’s society is trapped inside a cubicle, a studio, a computer, an apartment, a mall. We do not know our neighbors, we shop online, we email instead of meet up. We are slowly separating ourselves from human interaction and replacing it with a virtual alternative, one that you can choose to not accept.

So take a break from your computer and look around you. Smile at the person next to you, or give an old friend a call to hang out. Go to a bar with some friends and challenge yourself to meet new people. Go exercise. Interact with life the old-fashioned way.

Weddings and happily-ever-afters are affairs sought and fantasized by most women.  It’s in our social DNA to want to have beautiful weddings and fairy tale endings after we say “I do.”  There’s a problem, however, if our significant others are just not that… ready.  These wedding cake toppers (shown right) may seem humorous — until you realize that’s exactly how your boyfriend reacts whenever you mention the “M” word.  So spare yourself the stress and hold your thoughts of wedlock until he’s ready.  Here are three sure signs for you to avoid matrimony.

HIS FAMILY IS A MYSTERY
He’s never introduced you to his family.  You think he has siblings, or so he tells you, but you’ve never met them or even “friended” them on Facebook.  This is fine if you’ve just barely started dating the dude, but if you two have been going steady for two years, it’s a problem.  Unless he’s personally distant from his family (or doesn’t want to take the relationship to the next level of commitment), there’s no reason why he should be keeping you or them a secret.

HE’S NOT FINANCIALLY READY
Let’s face it, weddings can be costly these days.  Unless your ideal wedding is to elope in Las Vegas, he’s probably not ready to pop the question until he has more dough saved up.  This can be a good sign, because it can indicate that he’s planning ahead and doesn’t want to jump the gun before he’s reached financial stability.  But if he’s spending most of his paycheck fixing up his car… be concerned.  His priorities do not include you.

HE STILL WANTS TO BE “ONE OF THE BOYS”
It’s boys’ night every other night, and you’re not invited.  If his ears perk up when one of his buds mentions going on another spontaneous trip or crashing the local frat party with the fellas, your man is not ready to settle.  And if he is not mature enough to make that decision on his own, don’t try to convince him he needs to.  Don’t try to tie a man down when he’s not ready, it’s a formula for disaster.  If he’s 30 and still acting like he’s 21, he’s definitely on the immaturity spectrum.

So if your friends and cousins are getting married, attend their weddings and be happy for them — but don’t start planning your own wedding if your S.O. isn’t in the same boat yet!

• Not ready for the “M” word yourself but want to gauge his commitment?  Read He’s Not Committed If…

Images credit: The Knot.com

Living consciously is more than buying organic products and recycling water bottles.  It is a lifestyle choice.  It is the choice of looking beyond what is in front of us. When we talk about conscious living, we must also remind ourselves to live it and to simply walk the talk.

Each person’s interpretation of living consciously will be different. We have different priorities, different affinities toward hobbies, interests, and the people we choose to be around.  Not everyone will become vegan.  Not everyone will opt to bike to work.  Not everyone will purchase organic foods, create their own compost, wear only organic cotton, or give up their love for leather designer handbags.

However, every choice counts to make the world a little better, a little more sustainable.

Conscious living will always be a growth process from the way we think to the way we act. The definition of being conscious is being aware.  Are you aware of who you are becoming?  Are you aware of the achievements and mistakes in your past and taking action to better yourself?  So as we live, we learn, we become more aware, and we move forward.  Take it slow, one conscious choice at a time.  As we decide who we are and who we want to become, we’ll gradually make decisions that define how we each choose to live consciously.  Some of us may choose to eat healthier, some budget and save instead of splurge, and some start taking actions to help the community.  Being conscious is a lifelong commitment of better choices.

That means thinking before we speak, researching before we act.  Understanding and deciding our choices maybe not be immediate, but with thought and practice we better understand ourselves and how we can live happier, more fulfilling lives.

The Conscious Snob is here to discuss what’s great, what’s difficult, what’s beautiful, and what’s important.  While we are not responsible for the personal interests and opinions of our members, our goal is to help each reader understand and achieve the balance they need for conscious living.  It can be a long process, so mistakes can happen — but that’s how we learn.

Conscious living has different definitions for everyone, but it involves thinking about our interests and desires before acting upon it.  Nobody is perfect, but what’s most important is that we have the intention to empower ourselves with the knowledge and the choice to thrive in mind, body and spirit.

2009 is going to be a great year! So we ask that you be open-minded and to continue to evolve and grow with us at The Conscious Snob while we find new opportunities for lessons learned.

Happy living!

Purchasing books can be an addicting and expensive habit.  Why not swap your books for new ones?  Here’s how you can easily save cash and reduce clutter while expanding great works of literature.

Book Mooch is a free online community where registered users post books they’d like to mail to other members who’d like to receive them.  Each book sent gives you a point, and the points accumulate to allow you to receive books in return.  Just like Ebay, users get get feedback from transactions to help indicate those who are great to work with and those who aren’t as timely.  The only cost is the shipping and the time spent waiting to receive a book.  You even get bonus points if you ship internationally.

Book Crossing is another free swapping site and was founded in 2001 by a couple who found tracking books an interesting hobby.  This idea developed into an online community of over 720,000 members and 5.1 million books that are being shared and tracked over time.  Book Crossing differs from Book Mooch in that it allows you to register books that originated from you so that you can track them as they travel from reader to reader.  This is a nice touch and allows you to see how some of your favorite books are being shared around the world.

So take a look at your library shelf.  How often do you honestly read the books you’ve collected?  Wouldn’t it be great for you to share some of those great tomes with other interested readers?  And wouldn’t it be great if you stumbled upon something you want to read and received it at no virtually cost?  These sites allow you to free your literature to curious minds out there, so register today!

It’s normal to be inundated with junk mail, bills, certificates and the like — what’s important is that we distinguish documents that need to be filed away and preferably kept locked away in a safe.  Showing foresight by stowing away valuables and important documents in a secure place can save us a lot of unnecessary hassle should anything happen.  Whether it’s in a secure safe at home or in a safe deposit box at the bank, here are the things you should stash.

Certificates of ownership. If you have a title to a car or a deed to a home, put these documents in a safe, secure place.  It’s very foolish to keep the title to your car in your glove compartment.  If your car was ever stolen, having the title readily available to the car thief means your vehicle could “legally” be transfered with a few forged signatures.

Wills and bequests. People tend to not have wills until they have more assets and/or children, but if you have one, put it in a safe place.  In addition to keeping the files with your lawyer (assuming you used one to help you draft the will in the first place), keeping an updated copy in your safe can help resolve a number of sticky issues.

Identification documents. Put away birth certificates, social security cards, and other legal documents that you don’t want stolen or lost.  You generally will have little use for these documents, so why not keep them protected?  You definitely don’t want these items getting into the wrong hands and losing them is a huge nuisance.  If you’re an infrequent traveler, I’d suggest putting your passport away as well — this way you’ll know where it is when you do need it.

Valuable jewelry (or bars of gold). Many of us don’t have bars of gold to stash away, but don’t overlook expensive jewelry that you only wear for special occasions.  If you don’t wear your expensive diamond engagement ring on a daily basis, stow it away until you wear it.  Yes, it’s possible to purchase insurance for your ring… but something like that has more than just monetary value.

If you don’t have a lot to store, a small standard size safe deposit box at the bank should suit your needs.  They generally cost $40-$50 dollars per year to rent with a one-time $25 deposit for the keys.  A small cost for your peace of mind.

A key element of a conscious snob is the ability to recognize and be educated about our decisions.  What we choose for our lives should enrich our quality of life and help us grow as better people for our family, friends and the community in which we live.  We have all the power to choose our paths and influence those around us, but it’s also this freewheeling ability that compels me to write about being “spoiled.”

There have been more young adults in this generation than any other who have a sense of entitlement in this world.  They feel that they deserve so much — as they should, if they’re alluding to the hope of fulfilling their potential and achieving that American dream — but what I’ve found troublesome is that this air of entitlement is rooted for many youth in material goods and VIP privileges.  It’s been noticed that the new generation of young adults expect certain luxuries in their lives — luxuries that most people in the world do not have.  From a brand new car from mom and dad to fabulous and expensive gifts from their significant other, this new generation is going to realize something: they will be disappointed if materialism is the basis of their contentment.

What does it mean to be spoiled? Being spoiled means having a lot of things go your way emotionally and materially.  When you have people too often doing things for you and buying things for you, there’s a good chance that you start expecting these favors instead of appreciating them.  It’s not a requirement for your boyfriend and parents to get you gifts.  It is a show of love, appreciate it and don’t let it get to your head.

If someone is too spoiled, their quality of life becomes too indulgent on unimportant things and they risk forgetting the importance of things that really matter.  If you become too demanding of material things that you want or feel you deserve, you lose sight of the truly beautiful things that cannot be bought.  It becomes a vicious cycle of buying things to feel better and to fill the void where love, trust and commitment should be, only to feel empty after the shopping “high.”

We start to expect these things rather than really work towards them or even appreciate them.  Despite the recent economic downturn, the young and old still earning a good salary continue to book lavish vacations and their flat screen plasma TVs, because they “deserve it.”  Entitlement is an awful weakness.  If you can only stay in five star hotels or only wear “real” jewelry or scoff at H&M or Target clothes, you are spoiled.  Get a reality check– these things don’t matter.

Are our expectations too high?  Should we rely on being spoiled by these material things as a true definition of happiness and love?  I am absolutely in favor of indulgences, as long as they are controlled.  I also believe in making your own realities come true.  If I want that Hermes bag, I will do what it takes to have it, and now I own three– WITHOUT the help of daddy or a credit card.  I don’t think I deserve these bags.  I just appreciate them, want them in my collection and use them well.

You can be spoiled by someone else, or you can spoil yourself.  Neither of which makes you the better person. In the end, indulgences are okay, like a sweet dessert during a special dinner.  But if you eat sweets all day, you’ll only grow fat and sick.  Indulge when you can, but do not allow yourself to be spoiled.  There may be disagreements from the other end, all is welcomed.

So control your desires. Appreciate what you have.  Don’t obsessively yearn for more and don’t ask for them from others.  The people in your life are there to support and help you grow as a person, not lavish you with gifts so you can shut up.  If you are a person who spoils, then do the recipient a favor and stop.  Gifts are special and for special occasions.  If you have the funds and means to spoil yourself and those around you, consider lavishing your love in other ways.  Just don’t build a habit of always expecting to be spoiled.

What do you think?  Are we more spoiled and is it okay?

Over time, even great friendships fail.  While the initial relationship was great, and you were able to spend every second together with the same bond that blood sisters would have, things have changed.  Or maybe they were never best friends to begin with.  Maybe we have to open our eyes to the true relationships in our lives and quit investing our time to those who do not appreciate it.  Here are ways to realize that this great friend of yours isn’t that great at all, and what to do about it.

She only focuses on herself. True friends share with each other their lives.  It is never a one way road.  Yes, she can vent about her awful day or a break up, but in the end, she also has to put interest in your life and your feelings.  If it is all “me, me, me,” then it will never be “us.”  There are friends out there whom you talk to and all you hear about is their lives and their views.  Those aren’t your best friends.  Best friends would never take all the attention.  Talk to her about how you are feeling and see if there are any changes in the future.  Approach without an attacking tone and really be sincere and not angry.

She neglects the time spent with you. If you two are planning a trip or going for a day out shopping, your best friend would spend the time talking and hanging out, with the activity as the medium for bonding.  When a best friend ditches you to scour sales racks or meets a guy at a bar and shuts you out, then a best friend she is not.  She is just being selfish and inconsiderate of you as a person and lacks respect that you deserve.  If an incident like this occurs too often, mention to her calmly that you feel she is not being a good friend.  Or if you are the culprit and have done this a few times, make sure it’s not repeated, and apologize for the times that it has been done.  Sometimes it may be forgivable, but most of the time it’s heinous.

She doesn’t call. Ever.  Red flag on this one.  If best friends are supposed to share and talk about every great and little thing, then communication is key.  If you are sad, you vent.  If you are happy, you share, but not gloat.  When you are always the one initiating the conversations or put a lot of effort to hunt down your friend who is too busy to put your friendship as a priority, then perhaps you have to re-prioritize your friends as well.

She’s constantly competitive and jealous. Stay away from this one.  Someone who is too self-conscious about herself and try to upshow you or gets jealous when great things happen to you is not a good friend.  A best friend will gush over your new shoes, help you find that perfect dinner to make your boyfriend, and tell you when a dress looks awful on you, because it matters.  People like this need to work on their own character instead of trying to be better than someone else for the sake of proving themselves.  Sure, envy is normal, but it gets out of hand when they glare at your new haircut or takes low jabs on your relationships.

These are only a few big red flags.  In the end, having a best friend should feel great. Yes, there are disagreements and misunderstandings, but great communication, trust and the ability to be generous with your time and emotions are true indicators of a lasting friendship.

It’s all over the news.  The economy is crashing and we can’t be as free with our spending as before.  So let’s tighten our purse straps and consider some simple ways to cut down our costs without cutting down our happiness level.  A key to a better life is avoiding the trap of wanting more than we already have.  By being discontent, we forget to enjoy the things we already possess. Here are some tips.

When eating out, order water. It’s free, and ten times healthier than a soda or some alcoholic drink.

Be sure to set automatic savings. ING Direct, HSBC Direct, and other high-yield web savings accounts allow you to set up automatic saving plans.  Just allot something, anything to be put into the account monthly.  That way you are saving money without even trying.

Pack lunch to work. I love to cook, so I try to cook a large dinner and pack leftovers for lunch the following day.  It’s delicious and healthier.

Avoid junk food.  Not only do I feel better, I saved money.

Don’t have cable television. I hardly watch TV, and I get my news from the internet.  I therefore avoid tempting commercials for more purchases and save a hefty monthly fee for cable.

Use the library. I have found the most amazing books and films at the library—and it’s all free!  I reduce clutter in my home by not having to pile up purchased books and DVDs in shelves.  I love it.  Besides, after watching a DVD twice or so, I’m so over it.

Cook at home. It’s an amazing learning experience, and I find it so relaxing.  I also save a ton from not going out all the time.  My advantage is that I have a lovely boyfriend who helps with the dishes afterwards, because the cook should never have to clean.

Purchase Starbucks sparingly. It’s great to meet up w/ friends for a chat there, but a daily stop at Starbucks can cost me about $1,400 in a year.  That’s a roundtrip ticket to Europe!  Plus, all that caffeine and sugar really does not help the waist.

Limit vacations. I used to just hop over to another state or country without thinking about what it would cost me.  Now I really consider where I want to go and plan a special trip about once or twice a year instead of every few months.

Buy sale items. I used to buy everything full price, but have learned to just wait a bit, and eventually prices will drop.  One warning is that sales may lead to needless spending, so I make sure to purchase what I truly need.  Give SavvyCircle a try, as it lets you know by emailing you when items you are coveting go on sale.

Budget. I never budgeted, and now that I have started, I am very aware of where my money goes and am shocked at how quickly money is spent.  I also noticed that carrying the cash I am going to spend instead of using my credit card helps me keep on track.

How are you saving?

I don’t know about you, but I dread going to the mechanic.  There is always a feeling that they will rip you off and do things that never should be done to your car– on your tab.  Enter Repair Pal, a great new site that offers you a comprehensive explanation of how much the repairs will cost based on your car’s make, model, year, and where you live.  It’s best to do your research beforehand if you know what needs to be done, but you can also check out the website after your initial checkup to see if the estimates add up.

Being in a relationship is not easy. It is all about compromise and sacrifice, selflessness and generosity. However, you can’t sacrifice who you are just to make the other person happy. A relationship requires someone to be able to retain who they are, yet allow someone who can be very different into her heart. Below are key aspects to making a relationship work, and then you add your own personal flair to make it great.

Respect You have values, and your significant other has values. Not all values will be aligned. In fact, there may be clashes. If you are a spender and he is a saver, there will bound to be conflicts, but if you respect each other and each other’s views, you can agree to disagree. Sometimes you just have to try to understand the other person and reach out to show you respect who they are. If you want it to work, you have to put aside some of your own stubbornness to do what is right for the relationship.

Trust If you are constantly calling your boyfriend to check where he is, you are not trusting him. If you question someone’s actions or words, then there will be trouble ahead. Relationships require a person to surrender their wall of protection and let their heart open to someone to enter. If you can’t break down your wall, you will never be able to fully trust someone because you are busy protecting yourself. Learn to trust and also work to be trustworthy. Look at your own words and see if the actions follow. It takes work, but it’s worth it.

Honesty You have to be able to tell them everything. If he wants to know about your past, your future goals, or the cost of those hot new shoes, tell him. There is no point in hiding it. What good will lying do? When is the last time lying ever got a positive outcome? Better to lay out the truth immediately, even if it hurts, than to hide it and let it explode later on. Be able to share your true opinions, to say he is wrong, to defend your choices. Being honest is truly about being honest to yourself. If you are denying something to him, you are ultimately denying something to yourself.

Sense of Humor You have to laugh. Relationships need to be able to see the silly side of things along with the serious areas. Whether you have fun traveling, cooking, or just making fun of each other, you need to be able to shake off the small stuff and smile about it. No one wants to be with a prude. Life is about living so laugh and jump for joy whenever you can.

Below is a wonderful poem by Kahlil Gibran about relationships. Titled “On Marriage,” it applies to all relationships, not just after you have tied the knot.

On Marriage

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

So share with us, what makes your relationship great?