Sometimes living in a city where mass consumption is part of our daily living, we forget the big picture. But thanks to the efforts of people like Blake Mycoskie, the realities of the world are brought to our attention and we are given a chance to incorporate philanthropy in our daily lives… by doing something as simple as wearing shoes.

After coming in third place in The Amazing Race II, Blake Mycoskie returned to a destination he frequented on the show: Argentina.  Recognizing the injustices found in rural and impoverished areas of Argentina and witnessing the poverty of children walking 2 miles barefoot to fetch water, Blake made up his mind to take action.

Inspired by the canvas shoes worn by local Argentinians, Blake designed a pair of basic shoes with rubber soles and comfortable lining and marketed it to the American audience.  He called these reinvented shoes TOMS and promised that with every purchase, a pair of TOMS would be donated to those around the world who couldn’t afford shoes.

Since the birth of TOMS shoe, over 10,000 shoes have been given to children in Argentina and over 50,000 pairs in South Africa.  TOMS shoes are available at various boutiques and department stores and have been featured in the media since it’s beginning.

Purchase a pair today and give something back to the real world.

• Also check out PONO: Fusing Fashion with Philanthropy for jewelry with a similar message and commitment.

Weddings and happily-ever-afters are affairs sought and fantasized by most women.  It’s in our social DNA to want to have beautiful weddings and fairy tale endings after we say “I do.”  There’s a problem, however, if our significant others are just not that… ready.  These wedding cake toppers (shown right) may seem humorous — until you realize that’s exactly how your boyfriend reacts whenever you mention the “M” word.  So spare yourself the stress and hold your thoughts of wedlock until he’s ready.  Here are three sure signs for you to avoid matrimony.

HIS FAMILY IS A MYSTERY
He’s never introduced you to his family.  You think he has siblings, or so he tells you, but you’ve never met them or even “friended” them on Facebook.  This is fine if you’ve just barely started dating the dude, but if you two have been going steady for two years, it’s a problem.  Unless he’s personally distant from his family (or doesn’t want to take the relationship to the next level of commitment), there’s no reason why he should be keeping you or them a secret.

HE’S NOT FINANCIALLY READY
Let’s face it, weddings can be costly these days.  Unless your ideal wedding is to elope in Las Vegas, he’s probably not ready to pop the question until he has more dough saved up.  This can be a good sign, because it can indicate that he’s planning ahead and doesn’t want to jump the gun before he’s reached financial stability.  But if he’s spending most of his paycheck fixing up his car… be concerned.  His priorities do not include you.

HE STILL WANTS TO BE “ONE OF THE BOYS”
It’s boys’ night every other night, and you’re not invited.  If his ears perk up when one of his buds mentions going on another spontaneous trip or crashing the local frat party with the fellas, your man is not ready to settle.  And if he is not mature enough to make that decision on his own, don’t try to convince him he needs to.  Don’t try to tie a man down when he’s not ready, it’s a formula for disaster.  If he’s 30 and still acting like he’s 21, he’s definitely on the immaturity spectrum.

So if your friends and cousins are getting married, attend their weddings and be happy for them — but don’t start planning your own wedding if your S.O. isn’t in the same boat yet!

• Not ready for the “M” word yourself but want to gauge his commitment?  Read He’s Not Committed If…

Images credit: The Knot.com

Save up to 50% on your next move and do the world some good while you’re at it.  Rent-a-Green box offers innovative alternatives for an earth-friendly moving experience that shuns the conventional, expensive cardboard boxes and bubble wraps that harm the environment.  Exceeding 45,000 green deliveries, the company has created a win/win solution for both consumers and the earth.

WHAT DO THEY RECYCLE AND HOW IS IT REUSED?

Rent-a-Green box has invented a series of unique solutions made from post consumer trash such as baby diapers, unusable cardboard and newspaper waste, packaged food boxes, aluminum cans and even plastic bottles to redesign environmentally-friendly moving products.  Here’s a look at some of their most popular items:

Recopack, the cardboard box replacement in medium, large, extra large
• Ideal for fast pack/unpack, quick loading/unloading
• Medium sizes are great for small objects like books, CD’s, crafts, small decorations, misc. items that need to be grouped
• Large sizes are perfect for pots, delicate dishes, glassware, product samples, office supplies
• Extra large sizes can handle bulk items such as linens, bed spreads, pillows, large picture frames, computers, and commercial equipments
• Available for residential and commercial moves
• Comfortable handles for easy moving and stacking

Geami Packing Paper (Geami: “‘best friends forever’ of the earth”)
• Replacement for conventional bubble wraps
• Designed for easily breakable items like china, porcelain, and other expensive items that need delicate care
• Prevents scratches
• Can be reused to ship anything that needs extra care

Recobubes, “the replacement for petroleum based Styrofoam packing peanuts”
• Made from 100% recycled newspaper
• Toss them into your garden after your move and they become compost for your plants

Expandos, another packing peanut replacement
• Ideal for protecting your valuables like crystal vases, figurines, rare collectibles, etc.
• Cool little triangles that interlock and prevent your valuables from moving around during transit

Recopaper
• Replacement for conventional wrapping, packing paper
• Again, throw them into your garden once you’re done with them and they’ll be come compost for your plants

Need more? Check out their recolabels, reco-zips, recobags, reco-dollys, poopy pallets and other upcoming products that will save you time, money and give back to the earth.

GET STARTED

Rent-a Green box now services every city in Orange County, Los Angeles County and continues its expansion through the Inland Empire and San Diego County.  To save yourself the time and hassle of buying moving material, go to the Rent-a-Green box website and follow these simple steps:

1. Determine how many Recopacks you need for your next move using the online Box Wizard or talk to one of their eco-agents

2. Make a reservation and confirm your moving date

3. Recopacks will be delivered to your garage on your moving day.

4. Pack, stack and move!

5. Once you are done, Rent-a-Green box picks them up!

Who is the perfect man? The perfect man will love you for who you are and never try to change you.  The perfect man will take a bullet to save your life.  He will be able to read what you are feeling and be sensitive to each situation so as not to hurt you.  He knows just what to say to make you smile after a dreadful day at work.  The perfect man will let you choose where to eat for dinner, know what to get you for Valentine’s, and will make efforts to win your love everyday.

So where is he?

He doesn’t exist. From Cinderella to Slumdog Millionaire, society has been conditioned by the media to think that men will go to any length for the women they love and that there is a happy ending for us all.  Not so.  We never found out what happens after the fact, but somewhere in her castle, Cinderella is probably angrily scrubbing the kitchen floor because her Prince of a husband always forgets to take off his shoes at the door after hunting– or worse, he just doesn’t care.  In fact, in an effort to find the “perfect mate,” you may end up selling yourself short. Your man may be a great guy, but instead of appreciating him you’re upset that he doesn’t pick up after himself.  Or maybe he doesn’t wear the brands you prefer or has slight rolls instead of a 6 pack?  Instead of appreciating his qualities, you lament about his supposed faults.  You have an image of how he can be perfect and you’re determined to make it so.  Sound familiar?  Expectations should exist, but there is a fine line between expectations that are rational and those that are a bit too “fairy tale” and derived from glorified, societal expectations.

The perfect man is relative to who you are. Your soul mate will complement YOU.  You will not share everything in common, but you will share common core values such as raising a family, financial spending, and spirituality.  If you’re an adventurous wanderer while he wants a stable job and family, then conflicts will arise.  If you want him to be more romantic like your friends’ husband, then ask him for specific actions instead of making him do all the guess work.  He will never know what to do until you give some indications.  Stop comparing him to other men or your friends’ men and look deep into yourself for what works for you.

The perfect man may not exist, but there is a perfect man for you as an individual.  Here are some key questions to ask about your man to make sure he is the one.

Does he make you happy?
True happiness comes from within.  You have to first be happy with yourself before others can make you happy.  Otherwise, it’s a false happiness that is transient.  If thinking about him makes you feel even better about life, then that is a positive sign.  If he knows the right things to say when you are angry, lets you cool off when you’ve had an argument with your mom, or regularly surprises you with his creativity, then he’s a keeper.  Finding someone who is able to read you most of the time is a lucky feat.

Are you able to tell him the complete truth?
Honesty is key in a relationship.  If you can’t tell him about your credit card debt (major red flag) or about your personal problems, then you are not being honest yourself.  Having major lies and hiding information can destroy a happy relationship.  [Note: Telling him is mother's turnip soup is delicious (when it's not) is acceptable, but there are other obvious truths that must be laid out even if unpleasant.] Would you rather have him not tell you about his gambling problem or drug addiction until it’s too late?  Of course not!  If you can love each other despite your horrid habits and disgusting tastes, then that’s love. [But regarding gambling and drug additions, let's hope you guys can resolve these issues together if they exist].  Don’t sugarcoat something, because the bitterness will be out eventually.

Can you see forever with him?
If you can deal with imagining him being hairy and wrinkled next to you when you also are lacking teeth and sporting gray hair, then that’s a good sign.  If you can see having children, buying a house, and spending every single day of the rest of your life with him, even better.  However, you have to know a lot about him before you can see this future.  The first few months of dating has you in cloud-nine so think rationally about the future and talk to him about it to see if your plans are in sync.

Does he love you for who you are?
The perfect man will not try to change you or make you into someone you are not.  He’ll want to encourage you to be a better person, but he’ll be ever supportive of who you are and respectful of your beliefs.  Just remember that change has to come from within; any external forces that attempt to change you will end up in resentment unless you want to change.  So be yourself and never conform for anybody else but yourself.

Are you trying to change him?
Same as above: if you can’t love him for who he is, then maybe he’s not the one for you.  There is a fine line between molding someone into the perfect guy and making him change just because you want him to be a certain way.  Tread cautiously here in your efforts to make your man the man he is to become.  You have to make him want to change for himself and not for you.  Love him for his idiosyncrasies and he just may be able to bend a little more than when you pick at all his little faults.

True love can exist through hard work, open communication, and selflessness. Maybe in the end, Cinderella enjoys scrubbing the kitchen floor.  Maybe her Prince gives her a massage at the end of the day.  In the end, it doesn’t matter what each couple does as long as it makes them happy; to each her own.

So remember.  Be yourself. Love yourself. And learn to love him for who he is.

Many of us isolate the act of giving to birthdays, anniversaries and routine holidays, but Cami Walker has found giving to be an act of kindness that has changed her life and the lives around her.  Cami is the creator of 29Gifts.org, a growing community of supportive, fellow gift-givers.  The challenge of 29 Gifts is simple, it’s to give 29 consecutive days of gifts.  These gifts can be anything, ranging from material things like donations and food to intangible things like your time, well-wishes or even your smile.  Once someone commits to becoming a giver, how they want to fulfill this commitment is up to them, but the mission is clear: giving something positive back to the world around you should be a concept that you live with everyday.  Explaining how she approaches her giving, Cami says, “Each day I make a conscious effort to connect with another person in a positive way.”

The concept of 29 Gifts started with Cami’s personal story.  At a time when she was struggling with Multiple Sclerosis and adjusting to the challenges of relocating to a new city, Cami was advised by her spiritual mentor to tackle her own depression by refocusing some of her attention to giving to others.  The advice was to give away 29 things in 29 days.  From the start of her first gift, Cami’s life took a drastic turn for the better.  By the end of her first cycle of giving, her career had taken a turn, she had a new circle of friends, and she was finally able to walk on her own.  That was the start of the 29 Gifts movement and since then the number of givers has blossomed.

The Conscious Snob spoke with Cami herself to bring you more details of this gift-giving movement.

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How did you get the idea of the 29 Gifts Challenge?

“This actually came about because I was working with one of my spiritual mentors.  I was dealing with a really serious illness, multiple sclerosis.  She gave me this as a prescription because I was having a really bad struggle at the time and I had called her to complain yet again.  She interrupted me and said, ‘Cami, you really need to stop thinking about yourself.’  and I was very angry actually, but it interrupted the negative tirade that I was on.  I think I stopped talking long enough for me to think a little bit, and I was like, ‘What do you mean?  Things are horrible right now, what else am I supposed to think about?’  And she suggested that I give 29 things in 29 days.”

When did you start?  When was your first gift given?

“It was in March, mid-March.”

From that point forward, did you give a gift consecutively for 29 days?

“Yes.  I’ve actually given gifts consecutively now for almost 7 cycles [of 29 days].  I’ve actually been doing it everyday for however long that is.”

What kind of gifts do you give away?  Does the gift have to have a particular significance or meaning for that day?

“I don’t plan my gifts. I just go through the day and look for a good opportunity to give. A good example is yesterday. I went out.  I’d hurt myself, I’d hurt my back, and I had to leave and go to the chiropractor late in the afternoon.  As I was coming back home, there was a man who was dumpster-diving near my house.  He looked like someone I would have been scared to approach 7 months ago, honestly.  But I just literally felt moved [...] and I walked across the street.  He was in the dumpster at the time and I took 10 dollars out of my wallet, folded it up and tucked it into the top part of his shopping cart and left.”

What are some other examples of gifts?

“The first gift I ever gave, I actually made a supportive phone call to a friend of mine who struggles with MS.  So sometimes it’s something like that, or like a compliment that I give to somebody, or something material.  Like today I had a 50 dollar gift card that somebody had given me for a gift and I decided to send it to somebody else.  The gifts can be anything, it doesn’t have to be something material. It can be kind words or a prayer.”

How do people join the 29 Gifts Challenge?  Do you keep track of their 29 days of gift giving?

“They sign up on the website.  They fill out a profile on the website [...] and that’s them making the commitment.  There are many number of ways that they can keep track.  Some people will blog about what they give everyday on the site [on their personal giving blog], some people don’t really like to publicly share that way, so we have a free, downloadable 29 gifts calendar.  My request is that each person submit a story at the end of their process, if they’re not blogging all the time, that tells how focusing on giving affected their lives.  The point is to raise people’s awareness about giving, and as far as I’m concerned, if you focus on giving on 3 days or 29 days, it’s going to make a positive impact on your life and the lives of other people.”

So when people commit, are they only committed to one cycle of 29 days?

“Some do and some don’t. Some people do 29 days and don’t come back to the site, and some people [...] have been on the site for 4, 5, 6 months and they’re actively giving every day still.”

How has this entire process impacted you?

“It’s totally turned my life around, honestly.  When I started this I had been hospitalized 5 times over just a very short period of time and I couldn’t walk, literally, without a cane or assistance.  I was broke because I hadn’t been able to work in months and I was extremely isolated because i had just moved from San Francisco to Los Angeles kind of in the midst of all this sickness and I didn’t know anybody here.  I was feeling very lonely.

So, on day one, I gave my first gift at 6 AM.  I called my friend and made a supportive call to her and we talked for about an hour or so.  At 8 AM, the phone range and it was the Packard Foundation calling with a consulting offer, totally out of nowhere.  Then I went to breakfast. I was like, I’m going to celebrate even though I have no money.  I took my credit card, had my husband drop me off at breakfast. I’d exchanged a few words with this guy who was eating near me, and as I’m sitting there waiting, the waiter comes over and said ‘Oh, that guy just paid for your meal on the way out!’.

I sat for a while longer, but it was going to be two hours before my husband was going to come get me because he was at auditions, so i thought, ‘Maybe I’ll try to walk home, it’s 6 blocks but I have my cane and I could always sit down if things get bad.’”

It took Cami 45 minutes but she managed to walk the whole 6 blocks with the help of her cane.

“Honestly, I hadn’t walked more than a block away from my house for months because I was always afraid that if I got too far away I wouldn’t be able to get home.

By the end of my 29 days, things had totally turned around, my business was booming [...], and I was able to work again part-time, I was walking without the cane by the end of the 29 days and I had actually made a lot of friends because I had started to leave the house to meet people.  So things were really different, and since I’ve been giving every day, I have not had another major flair up of my MS.  I still deal with all the residual neurological damage, so I still have significant symptoms that were present before, but I haven’t had a flair up where new symptoms present or things get worse since I started this.”

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Recently, the 29 Gifts Challenge reached its goal of getting 2,000 members committed to giving at least one full 29-day cycle, but there many like Cami who are going on to their 4th, 5th, or even 6th cycle of giving.  Enthused by the success of the challenge thus far, the organizations new goal is to reach 29,000 committed givers.

Will you join the challenge?

—-images from 29gifts.org—-