Every household is different but living with your significant other surely will bring issues regarding housekeeping.  In some homes, couples split the chores.  In other homes, the women do all the housework.  Then there are those who opt to hire maids and housekeepers to take care of the dirty work for them.  Where do you stand?

There should be a balance on who does what and, most importantly, there needs to be a compromise.  If you feel you are doing way too much, don’t hesitate to voice that you need help.  There is a thin line between being a significant other and a maid, especially if you are living with your boyfriend/husband.  Figure out a system where both of you can contribute.  This prevents developing resentment and allows you guys to avoid nasty words like “nag,” or worse yet, “mom.”  If both of you work full-time, then chores should be shared.  Look at both of your schedules and the amount of free time you guys each have — then divide housework accordingly.

Physical limitations also effect the chores you do. If you have a back problem, perhaps he should help with groceries or taking out the trash.  Having a new manicure is no excuse.  Suck it up, put on some gloves, and wash those dishes.  Make the most of your skills.  If you’re more savvy with budgeting and finances, then you can take care of the bills and overall spending while he cleans the cars.

In the end, your relationship is more important than who cooks dinner.  It’s about figuring out what works for both of you, putting effort into making one another happy, and making each other feel special.  This is the person you are choosing to be with, through thick and thin, laundry and dusting.

Again, where do you stand?

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A key element of a conscious snob is the ability to recognize and be educated about our decisions.  What we choose for our lives should enrich our quality of life and help us grow as better people for our family, friends and the community in which we live.  We have all the power to choose our paths and influence those around us, but it’s also this freewheeling ability that compels me to write about being “spoiled.”

There have been more young adults in this generation than any other who have a sense of entitlement in this world.  They feel that they deserve so much — as they should, if they’re alluding to the hope of fulfilling their potential and achieving that American dream — but what I’ve found troublesome is that this air of entitlement is rooted for many youth in material goods and VIP privileges.  It’s been noticed that the new generation of young adults expect certain luxuries in their lives — luxuries that most people in the world do not have.  From a brand new car from mom and dad to fabulous and expensive gifts from their significant other, this new generation is going to realize something: they will be disappointed if materialism is the basis of their contentment.

What does it mean to be spoiled? Being spoiled means having a lot of things go your way emotionally and materially.  When you have people too often doing things for you and buying things for you, there’s a good chance that you start expecting these favors instead of appreciating them.  It’s not a requirement for your boyfriend and parents to get you gifts.  It is a show of love, appreciate it and don’t let it get to your head.

If someone is too spoiled, their quality of life becomes too indulgent on unimportant things and they risk forgetting the importance of things that really matter.  If you become too demanding of material things that you want or feel you deserve, you lose sight of the truly beautiful things that cannot be bought.  It becomes a vicious cycle of buying things to feel better and to fill the void where love, trust and commitment should be, only to feel empty after the shopping “high.”

We start to expect these things rather than really work towards them or even appreciate them.  Despite the recent economic downturn, the young and old still earning a good salary continue to book lavish vacations and their flat screen plasma TVs, because they “deserve it.”  Entitlement is an awful weakness.  If you can only stay in five star hotels or only wear “real” jewelry or scoff at H&M or Target clothes, you are spoiled.  Get a reality check– these things don’t matter.

Are our expectations too high?  Should we rely on being spoiled by these material things as a true definition of happiness and love?  I am absolutely in favor of indulgences, as long as they are controlled.  I also believe in making your own realities come true.  If I want that Hermes bag, I will do what it takes to have it, and now I own three– WITHOUT the help of daddy or a credit card.  I don’t think I deserve these bags.  I just appreciate them, want them in my collection and use them well.

You can be spoiled by someone else, or you can spoil yourself.  Neither of which makes you the better person. In the end, indulgences are okay, like a sweet dessert during a special dinner.  But if you eat sweets all day, you’ll only grow fat and sick.  Indulge when you can, but do not allow yourself to be spoiled.  There may be disagreements from the other end, all is welcomed.

So control your desires. Appreciate what you have.  Don’t obsessively yearn for more and don’t ask for them from others.  The people in your life are there to support and help you grow as a person, not lavish you with gifts so you can shut up.  If you are a person who spoils, then do the recipient a favor and stop.  Gifts are special and for special occasions.  If you have the funds and means to spoil yourself and those around you, consider lavishing your love in other ways.  Just don’t build a habit of always expecting to be spoiled.

What do you think?  Are we more spoiled and is it okay?

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It’s unfortunate that some relationships, no matter how great they were, are no longer that.  It doesn’t matter if you are a new couple, a couple that’s been together for a while, engaged or even married with children — there are some key things, if left unresolved, that can end relationships for good.

You have affairs. Clearly, if you’re seeking affection and attention from someone else, something’s not right in your “real” relationship.  Having a relationship or fling with another person could mean that you’re not ready to fully commit to your supposed significant other or that you just don’t love them enough — because clearly you’re not respecting your relationship with them.

You sleep in separate beds. If you live together but never go to sleep in the same bed, the gap between you is more than just distance.  Not being able to share the physical intimacy or even stand being next to someone this way spells trouble, especially if this has been going on for a while.

You argue more than you get along. Fights are normal because you are bound to have views that clash, but if you find yourself bickering more than laughing, then recognize it as another warning sign.  Fighting about the big issues will indicate your clashing foundations, but even arguing about the dumbest things, all the time, can indicate that you are not happy with each other.

The bad outweighs the good. In a struggling relationship, if you are able to see the positive and that helps you pull through, then great.  But if you start having trouble finding what makes your relationship worth it, it’s time to leave.  When your negative feelings and thoughts become too overwhelming, talk it over and if it can’t be resolved, walk away.

You can’t see the future with him. If you can’t picture growing old with him, or you aren’t able to think that far ahead, then ask yourself why.  If he’s too immature right now, or if you don’t feel you can see yourself happily with him when you are old, then it’s another sign that it’s over.  Don’t waste your time anymore and find someone else who can make that future happen.

You are embarrassed of each other. If you roll your eyes every time he speaks or hate the way he acts around your friends, the truth is that you lack respect for each other and probably harbor some contempt and resentment.  If you feel this way now, imagine how it will be ten years down the line.

You are not happy. That is the hugest red flag.  If that person cannot make you happy, then why are you with him?  We definitely control how we feel and can create our own happiness, but if we choose a life partner, then he better be able to also bring happiness into our lives instead of making us miserable.

Each relationship is different.  Some are able to work these things out and others aren’t.  Have the courage and strength to realize what you want, what makes you happy, and walk away if your needs are not met.  You only have one life to live.

When do you know it’s over?

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There are bound to be disagreements and arguments with your friends, boyfriends, parents, and family members.  It’s normal to have different opinions; however, getting angry can lead to regrettable words that can truly hurt a relationship.  Here are ways to keep the relationship strong despite your differences.

Don’t be silent. The silent treatment can be awful.  You need to talk about what you are feeling and going through, and silence only creates a bigger problem instead of solving it.  So give that person a call and start making some resolutions.

Stay calm. Nothing hurts more than an angry slur of phrases and words that diminishes a person’s character or self-esteem.  You probably shouldn’t have said it and sometimes it’s not even true.  Take a few breaths and be the bigger person by keeping your tone down and speaking calmly.

Don’t hit below the belt. You can say that they are stupid, that they are immature, or that they are worth a little more than dirt, but how does that make anything better?  Stick to the discussion at hand and don’t take personal jabs at a person just because you know a weakness.  If the relationship is something you want to keep, then be careful of the words you say.

Listen. You may be right, but they can also have some good points too.  Don’t just ignore their side of the story and resume your self-righteousness.  It doesn’t lead to anywhere.

Be openminded and patient. Sometimes people need more time to understand what you are trying to say.  Don’t be surprised that a week or year from now they will say you were right all along.  People, when stubborn, need time to think and live through experiences before they are able to concede that perhaps they are wrong.  So be openminded and try to see it from their perspective. No one is like you, so no one can think like you do.

How are some ways you have handled fights?