Sometimes men just don’t get it.  Selfishness and self-righteousness tends to get in the way of making someone else happy.  I’m just a girl, who has basic needs in a relationship.  We have discussed on this website the need for trust, honesty, respect, humility, and a sense of humor — but that can only go so far.

In the end, as girlfriends, we want someone to love us. Unconditionally.  Wholeheartedly.  And willing to make changes.  A woman will bend herself backwards to make her boyfriend happy.  The changes we make, the little things we do, all are in the hopeful thought that perhaps this will work out.  These are some things that being a boyfriend should engrave into their hearts. Yes, this may not be everything or you may even disagree.  If so, please post your comments– we all have a right to our opinions.

Love her for who she is. So simple.  If we love makeup, let us put it on.  We know we are beautiful just the way we are in our ratty pajamas and crust in our eyes in the morning, but let us be pretty.  It’s not always to impress others, it’s our way of expressing our feminism.  In fact, it’s the way we take care of ourselves and carry ourselves that made your heads turn in the first place!  Love us for the way we get ready in the morning, for the way we enjoy our ice cream before bed, for how we love to snuggle between your torso and arm in bed, for taking your blanket away in the middle of the night.  Love us even if we make you watch Sex and the City (hey, we watch Alli G for you) or drag  you shopping.  Though I do think that women should just shop among women– it makes for far more fun.

You don’t have to be right.  Yes, you have an entire philosophy and set of core values that you adhere by that makes you who you are.  But so do we.  If we disagree, can we agree upon that?  We are all individuals who believe different things.  Not every argument ends with one right answer, so stop saying you are right and just let us believe our views.  Is the relationship worth ending over that one argument?


We love beautiful things. Yes, it may confuse a few men out there why we need the same pair of shoes in three different colors, why we own more than five handbags, or why we love to shop.  It’s a part of us.  We have fun doing it.  It makes us happy.  Would you take that smile and glee away from your girlfriend by making her feel bad over a new purchase?  If it is our money and our choice, let us make that decision.  There is nothing wrong with a woman who is financially independent who splurges on a beautiful necklace for herself.  And you know what, she will LOVE you if you can just listen to what she likes and perhaps buy it for her yourself.  Simple.  It’s not about spoiling her, but making her feel special and like she is worth it.  It does not have to be expensive either.  A small gift from her favorite store can make you from “that guy I’m with” to “my sweet boyfriend.”  Who do you want to be?

Romance is cheesy, but we love it. A love note, a call good night, flowers, a date night, and countless small pieces of romantic acts really go a long way.  You have to be creative.  A relationship is a lot of hard work, and it requires constant thinking and planning.  Never, and I say NEVER, get stuck in a comfortable relationship.  It eventually leads to boredom and even resentment.  Don’t take her for granted.  Be thankful that you have someone in your arms who will also do the same things to make you happy.  You have to realize that this is a conscious choice we are making to be with you, and we can make a conscious decision to leave you.  I definitely try to add something new by trying new activities and just doing sweet little nothings.  Anything that can bring a smile and wipe away that frown is a good thing.

In the end, all I ask is for all the men out there, single or in a relationship, to think about how they can make the other person happy. They don’t have to throw away old values.  I’m not asking people to change for others, but to make yourself the best you can be for the other person.  It’s about effort, understanding, compromise, and ultimately, love.  If you love someone, truly love someone, you will do things you  never dreamed you would do, and love it.  The love that is returned is priceless.  I wish every woman and man to find the person they can fall in love with and live great lives together.

So tell me, what makes a good boyfriend?

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