Financial Infidelity: Are You Guilty of Cheating?

Jul 2nd, 2008 | By Wise Snob | Category: Sustainable Living

Rating 3.00 out of 5

chairs Brad from Klontzblog discussed the dangers of financial infidelity, when you keep money secrets from your significant other, such as purchases or secret stashes of money. 40% of people in relationships have said they have committed to some form of financial infidelity and the reasons range from childhood habits to fear of upsetting his or her partner. It’s time to step out of the closet.

Money is a huge issue in many relationships, and a majority of divorces are due to financial differences. Sometimes the partner questions whether his or her spouse is being dishonest about other things; it becomes a downward spiral.

The Wall Street Journal recently published a video about financial infidelity, about how a married woman hides what she buys and surfaces them out in the future pretending she’s had it before. It also outlines different ways people irrationally spend based on emotion and why they spend and hide their purchases. Even I am guilty of doing this. My boyfriend and I have been struggling about finances, how I love expensive handbags while he craves simplicity. We are still working on it, and I am actually glad that there are other relationships out there struggling with this too. I am not the only one.

Klontzblog created a four step process to address this financial issue called SAFE.

Speak Your Truth. Establish what money means to both of you, your spending and saving style and your financial goals.

Agree to a Plan. Create a spending plan where you agree on the amount of money each can spend without needing to consult with each other. If something is more than that, you have to consult with one another.

Follow the Agreement. Establish that the agreement will be for two months. Then at the two months, ask these questions: Is the plan working for me? Is it working for you? Is it working for our relationship? Renegotiate the plan if needed.

Establish an Emergency Response Plan. When arguments arise, you need a plan to deal with the conflict. It may mean getting help from a professional or getting a third party to help with the decision (no, it cannot be your best friend who also loves Chanel handbags).

With these four steps, hopefully we can all find a middle ground where we all can be happy and not have to lie and hide anymore. A relationship should be about honesty and trust. Even if you are afraid of getting lectured about how you spend, at least you are strong enough to back up what you buy and not hide the truth in the closet.

Have you ever been financially unfaithful?

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